Cat's Out of the Bag

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tuesday I had the conversation that I have been planning for, rehearsing, dreading, and anticipating:  I spoke with my managers about our trip plans and what they mean for my position at the organization.

A lot has happened over the past couple months, personally and at work, causing me to feel a little less comfortable with just saying "goodbye," and wanting to do everything I can to secure my job as a place to come back to after the adventure is complete.  Things have been moving forward for me, I'm accomplishing a lot, and the organization's leadership has changed, culminating in a different type of culture at the top - the one I've been pushing for and wanting since I began working here.  I'm happy at work, happier than I've been, and I see myself moving into the future with this company.  Because of all of that, I decided I needed to tell my bosses as soon as possible about our plans in hopes that we can work something out so that I can "have my cake and eat it too."

The conversations were difficult. The first one went surprisingly well.  The second did not go as well, but I believe that shock and surprise were the culprits of a less-than-favorable, yet not completely surprising reaction.  24 hours later it is already clear that things are on a better path.

At this point, I have been tasked with basically talking with the hub and deciding exactly what we are asking for.  Then, the company will convene and decide if it's something they can give me or not.  It's scary not to be in control, but then again, I know that the true power is in our hands because we know what we want and I am willing to walk away from my job if it means sacrifing my dream.

It's unfortunate and I hope it doesn't have to come to that, but that's not up to me anymore.  I'm feeling relief, although my part is not yet over.  I have a feeling the next few weeks are going to be very intense.

Stay tuned, and wish me luck!